The Tale of Timmy Page

The sad, sad tale of Timmy Page
Who saw that piercing's all the rage
And hoped to make himself look fiercer
By going to the local piercer.

He pierced his tongue and felt so hi-brow
He went right back and did his eyebrows.
He pierced both ears from lobe to tip
Then did the same thing to his lips.

He pierced his nipples (so erotic!)
Then looked for places more exotic.
The studs that ran all up his back
Looked like a creepy railroad track!

He pierced what doctors call the phallus
And plica interdigitalis.
(In laymans terms that means his weiner
And the webs between his fingers.)

He pierced the sag on both his elbows
His uvula and both his big toes.
In fact there was no single spot
On Timmy's body that was not
Invaded by a stud or hoop
Or, packed with metal, made to droop.

So that is why poor Timmy died
While clattering past an MRI.